SIDE THOUGHTS - Friends

When I think of friendship, when I think of my friends, I think of Nadine. My first entry must be about her.

She died two years ago. Here is what I have written in a "Guest Book" in a local newspaper website. These entries describes best my loss:

Few months after her passing
Not a day goes by with me not thinking of Nadine. But then again, why should it be different now? I have always thought of Nadine every day for last 8 years that I have known her. She came into my life quietly and then came to fill so much of who I am. She loved ice coffee and bananas in the morning. If her father cooked dinner, the next day, she would think about it all day at work and could not wait to go home for leftovers. She drove that old blue car everywhere before she got her new red one. She loved music. She loved little crafts. She loved photos of her friends and family. She took forever to read menus and then would often just order soup and salad. She taught me the art of substitutions of side dishes in restaurants. She was tall yet so small and humble. And she was my best friend. I never got tired of talking to her, emailing her, sharing secrets and thoughts, taking walks with her, laughing with her, and accepting each other with no judgements and expectations. The void that she has left is so big that it physically hurts. However, my family and I were lucky to have known her. I am a better person now because I knew her and for that, I am forever thankful. A piece of Nadine will always live with me, my hubby and my son.

First birthday after her passing
Today is Nadine's birthday. Usually, I would have sent her a card with a package of goofy little things - Clinque samples that she will never wear but forever keep, the smallest purse that I could find, some seashells, magnets and gadgets, something that I made that she would ohh and ahh over even if no one else would, pictures of my son, and a funny story that I could imagine would have her laugh and say "get out of town" while she slap me on my arm. There are so many memories...I will continue to talk about Nadine to everyone I meet and know because the memories and the essence of her is so worth sharing.

First anniverary of her passing
A year has passed...my emotions mingle with happiness to have known her and sadness to have lost her. The many memories make me smile and the inability to share things with her makes me cry. My heart and comforting thoughts go out to all those who was close her on this day.

Second birthday after her passing
Today is Nadine's birthday. Nadine is of course still so missed. As things happen in my life, I stop myself...because so often I would share them immediately with Nadine. The void is quite immense...I did not truly realize what a good welcoming listener she was until I find that I am suffocating from wanting to tell her the latest news. A beautiful day for a beautiful soul.

Third birthday after her passing
Tomorrow will be Nadine's birthday. So much has happened in my life and in the world since her passing. I still so miss sharing the in and outs of our daily lives with each other. As she always used to say "Girl, let me tell you..." Our families' thoughts are with her family on this day.

I look past at what I have written and these words are so true still.

I miss my Nadine.