Side Thoughts - It Still Happens

It still happens. I was reading a great blog http://catawampus.typepad.com and it reminded me of a topic that has peeved me for years:

People still assume that the mother, even in a two-parent family, is the primary care provider. Not only do they assume it, they expect it. Heck, they even freely comment on it when it is not the case.

In our case, my husband and I have been and still are both working parents. Even if people know this and even if they don't, the line of questions and comments are the same.

When I was pregnant with my first child, people asked me "Do you plan to continue to work after the baby is born?" No one asked my husband this question.

When I was pregnant with my second child, people asked me,” Now that you will two children, do you plan to continue to work after the baby is born?" No one asked my husband this question. If they did, it was to ask about ME continuing to work.

When I was out with my friend, we ran into friend of hers. Upon finding out that I was a mother and seeing that I did not have the kids with me, she asked me, "So is your husband babysitting?" No one asks my husband if I am "babysitting" his children when he is out without the kids.

When I run into someone I know and I do not have the kids with me, he/she ask, "Where are the kids?" People ask my husband, HOW are the kids; people ask me, WHERE are the kids.

There are all kinds of rational reasons why this still happens. But all those rational reasons does not make the FACT THAT IT IS STILL HAPPENS bug me any less.