TIP - Routines, Routines, Routines for Kids

Here is an advanced copy of my article that will appear in the Feb/March 2007 issue of the Boston Women's Journal. There is a blog post called "Routines, Routines, Routines (Husband and wife)" dated 4/13/06 that discusses having routines as a parenting couple.




Mother of Two’s Guide Series – Family Routines - Part Two (Children)
January/February 2007

Routines are the basic building blocks of my family. Weekdays and nights are especially hectic (and chaotic!) since my husband and I are both working parents. Jo Frost from the Supernanny show is right - Having a set order of events is not only a good thing, it is a must! As a family, we wrote out the family schedule, discussed it and we all signed it. My 6-year-old son is so proud of it; he reads it to all our houseguests!

Here are the basics of our routine:

 Weekday morning routine. Our 6 year old watches one 30 minutes recorded children’s show (recorded so that we get to control what he watches!) in the morning after he washes and dresses himself. Getting dressed by himself is easy because I lay out his outfit (simple top and button) for the entire week (hey, it saves me time and embarrassment!). He gets to choose any one of the outfits every morning. I make him some toast, oatmeal or cereal (I do not even attempt making pancakes on weekday mornings!) and he finishes breakfast while he watches his show. This gives us time to finish getting ourselves ready for work and getting the baby ready for daycare.

 Weekday evening routine. Our 6-year-old plays by himself by coloring books, doing hidden pictures, playing computer games or with his toys, etc. for about 40 minutes. During that time, we feed and wash up the baby. We then play together with the baby – I love seeing my older son and baby play together! After we put the baby to bed, we have dinner with our 6 year old. (Side note: We have always found it hard to eat and talk to him when the baby is eating with us. The baby requires our full attention or else the dinner gets all over his face, his hair, and in all sorts of other places! This takes attention away from our older son. Our plan is to have the baby eat with us when he is two – we will see!) During dinner, we try catch up on each other’s day. Most of the time, my son is telling us his latest jokes!

After dinner, we play a “family game.” This gives our 6 year old our undivided attention since his baby brother is in bed. Family game could be a board game, watching a movie, arts and crafts, etc. We take turns picking the family game each night.

 Bedtime routine. I read in parenting books and magazines that having a consistent bedtime routine is critical to getting a child to go to sleep without a hassle. The books and magazines are correct. It works great with our sons. The bedtime is the same every night (our 6 year old usually in bed around 8:30pm and our baby is in bed around 7:15pm). The routine is the same for both boys even though they go to bed at different times: washing up, giving hugs and kisses, and changing into their pajamas. A book is read to them when they are in bed (our older son loves Magic Tree House chapter books and he looks forward to finding out what happens next – we read a chapter every night. ). We turn on a music or story CD, and then we leave the room. We also share this routine with our babysitter so that bedtime will be familiar and consistent.

We came upon these set of routines after trying many different combinations. We keep it flexible as situations warrant it, but our kids know the routines and they do not question them because we have done them for so long and because we went over them a head of time.

Of course, this is what works for our family. Every family should come up with its own routines and schedule that works for that family. You may not want TV on in the morning. Maybe your children go to bed at an earlier time. Maybe one parent works at night or you are a single parent family. The main point is that having a routine, a routine that fits your family’s needs, is worth the planning. It will save you time – not to mention your sanity – on the long run!