IN THE NEWS - "Disciplining Your Child"

Here is an article I wrote for the Boston Women's Journal for their June/July 2007 issue:





A Mother of Two’s Guide Series – Disciplining Your Child
By SK Joun

One area where all parents need additional information and support is disciplining your child. Few other topics tear at our emotions and our confidence as parents as disciplining. Our new parenting magazine called Parents for Parents™ magazine (www.ParentsforParentsMag.com) did a survey of parents from across the country on their disciplining practices.

In the survey, when parents were asked, “What behavior do you discipline your child (ren) for?” Many said for “not doing what you asked them to do”, “not listening”, “fighting with sibling”, “hitting” and “speaking in a disrespectful tone”. Some others were for “poor school performance”, “bad eating habits”, “behaving defiantly” and “breaking house rules.”

Many parents used similar disciplining methods: time-outs, taking away privileges (dessert, TV time, favorite toy, etc.) and spanking. Some parents were very creative in their disciplining methods:

• “If siblings fight, they must hold hands and complete a chore together (such as
cleaning their rooms).”
• “I have my oldest son write sentences.”
• “We mainly use positive reinforcement of good behaviors, a token economy system. Incorrect behaviors mostly results in loss of an opportunity to earn tokens.”

Many parents used other parents as resources for disciplining. They also used their own parents and friends as well as books and magazines. Among the books parents recommended to other parents on disciplining were:

• Creative Correction: Extraordinary Ideas for Everyday Discipline
by Lisa Whelchel.
• Dr. Spock’s Baby and Child Care: 8th Edition
by Benjamin Spock.
• How to Behave So Your Children Will Too!
by Sal Severe Ph.D and Tim McCormick.
• Supernanny: How to Get the Best from Your Children
by Jo Frost.
• Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and
Reason by Alfie Kohn.

When parents were asked to write articles on their experiences and solutions to disciplining, the most common theme in the articles was to pick a disciplining method based on what you think will work best for you and your child. And pick one method. Trying too many different methods confuses the child being disciplined. Then be consistent with the disciplining method! Carry the method out – over and over and over and over (and over and over and over) each and every time an unacceptable behavior occurs. Continue the method even when it does not seem like it is working. Soon, you will know exactly what to do when your child “misbehaves” and the child will know exactly what will happen when he does. It is hard work, but of course, it is worth it. As one parent said her article, “Discipline…is like the foundation and framework of a house. Build a strong foundation with solid walls and your house will withstand the storms of life.”

If you have tips or thoughts that you would like to share with other parents, visit www.ParentsforParentsMag.com. Remember, other parents are the best resources - they are the real "experts" on parenting!